Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i think i have two assholes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
