I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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