you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
