There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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