i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize