Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
