As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
