that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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