there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
