new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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