Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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