Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
