This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i've created a new STD.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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