So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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