It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
