Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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