I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...