whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?