i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.