I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.