Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He better not be in your backpack
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
