You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
