You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
