i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
