It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
