my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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