did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
