I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You pole danced in your parka.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
