I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
