They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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