wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
