If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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