I cannot find my penis.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
