I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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