we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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