just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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