No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
