if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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