here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
