Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
