When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize