so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
