I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
