I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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