Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
