I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
