You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
