I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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