We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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