I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
