Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
