You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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