belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
