he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
