He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize