It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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