I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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