i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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