How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
