The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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