Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
