You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
