i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
