considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
