I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
