Your tits are I can't wait for
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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