if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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